First few pages of something new

[deanl]

oops oops oops

[belovedmonster]

its good, i liked it

i didnt understand however why he starts running after his encounter at the bar. He seems either really laid back or an emotional wreck, both of which wouldnt suggest running to me.

Have i missed the piont?

[Paul Mack]

Hey guys, this is my first post to this board.

I like the set up with the V.O. And I understand why you would have the V.O over black but could the bar serve the same purpose?

What I mean with the V.O is do a montage of specific images such as the street,teenagers, exterior of the bar with the camera slowly working its way up to Anthony. Final shot is a C.U of Anthony's face (which is a great visual btw [img]biggrin.gif[/img] ) with the line "I've had enough".

Just constructive criticism, don't take it any other way. I love the premise and it has the potential to be a great thriller!

Paul Macomber [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img]

[Matt Green]

I like it. The beginning reminds me of the intro to Spiderman.

[redlum]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Matt Green:
I like it. The beginning reminds me of the intro to Spiderman.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

20 minutes of opening credits?

[emjen]

Did he pay money to kill himself?

I would watch more yes.

[Matt Green]

Redlum, no where all we hear is him talking,

"If you thought I was an odinary kid..."

[deanl]

Hey there.

"Did he pay money to kill himself?"

Yup.

Despin out.

[Generic Skinhead]

Very nice work Desp. You've improved a hel of a lot over the years. Thats a cool setup.

[ac_01]

Great intro. VO worked really well. Have you ever tried to sell one of these?